im six kinds of drunk right now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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