I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
