We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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