i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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