Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
