I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
