i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
