No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
