If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
