Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
