lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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