Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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