Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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