did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize