Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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