didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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