Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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