This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
