I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Houston, we have a squirter
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize