it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
