im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
