When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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