You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
