i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
