Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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