Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
