No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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