you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
