Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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