I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
