Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
