if only i could text you this smell
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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