When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
