Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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