you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
its not stalking. its research.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
