it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
