I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
