If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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