He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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