Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
