How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Randomize