How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
