why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
