I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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