i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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