I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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