She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
