He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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