We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
