yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
