I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
