I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
