I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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