Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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