life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.