Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.