Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
