If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
