I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
