Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
