weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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