Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm having to shit out rocks
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