thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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